Why the iPhone 5 Sucks

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Over Christmas, my father upgraded my phone to the iPhone 5. After just a week with it, I have concluded it is the worst smartphone I’ve ever had the displeasure of using. Now, I know what you’re all thinking. Complaining about a free upgrade to the iPhone 5? First world problems… But, let me make it clear, I didn’t want to upgrade to the 5, because I never saw it as an upgrade to the 4 in the first place, and finally being out of my contract, I was waiting to see how Windows Phone 8 panned out. However, my father wanted to upgrade to my phone, so his faulty logic was to go ahead and upgrade my phone in order to get it. I don’t understand my father’s logic, so I’m not going to bother trying to really explain it. Needless to say, the hours of arguing got nowhere, and in the end, I graciously accepted the gift, which we got the day after Christmas together.

Moving on to the phone, it’s most glaring problem is its battery life, and boy, does it suck. We’re talking first generation Sega Gamegear sucks. This thing is a battery vampire, and it’s fixing to go on a binge all day, everyday, 24/7/365. I’d wager that it burns out on idle over twice as fast as the four, and when in active use, is burning out three times as fast. Yes, it’s that damn power hungry. Looking at the battery % ¬†while browsing the net is like watching the timer on a microwave when making popcorn. I don’t know where Apple comes off saying this has better battery life, because it in no way does. Even with bluetooth, wifi, and LTE shut off, it seems to kill itself just as fast. I’m saying it now, Apple has failed with this one.

Second gripe? The camera. This is another feature that manages to be worse, while Apple says it’s gotten better. Does it even absorb light? Every photo it takes comes out like the sun is setting. Oh, and don’t bother going to an Apple store with this one, to see if maybe your phone is faulty. The Apple Store environment is perfect to make even the blindest camera take well lit photos. It’s a white room with white tables and white light flooding in every direction.

Third problem, that stupid lightning connector. The one thing I really enjoyed about my old iPhone was how it could be plugged in at gyms and other places, even my car. Now it can be plugged into nothing.

Number four, downgraded materials, although I expected this anyways. They went from super strong glass to scratch inviting metal. Thanks, Apple. Really, I enjoyed watching the store clerk scratch my phone taking it out of the box in order to set it up. It was awesome, kinda like seeing your waiter drop your dinner right when he reaches your table. In both cases, you can just get a new one, thankfully, but it’s a bad sign when something can be damaged that easily.

Number five, lack of anything new, at all. Same OS, same features, same everything. It really is just a new coat of paint. If you like it, more power to you. Me? Well, I’m considering paying up that 350 dollar cancellation fee to get out of this tech hell. Go ahead and rip me apart for this one. I know there’s bigger issues to talk about, but why give Apple a pass? The people deserve to know what kind of garbage they’re trying to pass off.

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11 responses to “Why the iPhone 5 Sucks”

  1. rsmerk02 says :

    Reblogged this on Cards Eye View and commented:
    A Newsroom Alum Rips Apple a New One

  2. Lily says :

    Hey the iPhone phone 5 does sick I have it and it really sucks I rather the galaxy !!

  3. Mark says :

    To me the deal breaker is the absolute joke that is the battery life. Yes, i’ve turned off the applications etc. but it still sucks. I don’t care what all of the ass-kissing Apple apologists say in defense of this piece of crap, one fact is indisputable: the Apple iPhone 5 is, first and foremost a mobile phone. Say what you will in its defense, but the fact is that it’s not mobile when it’s plugged into the wall on the charger for 12 hours a day. This thing is not so much a phone as it is a slightly portable, very small desktop computer. That doesn’t cut it for those of us who require a MOBILE phone.

    My suggestion would be to make the bastard twice as thick and give it some serious battery life. As it is, this damned thing is as impotent as are many of its fans.

    Villify me all you want, but the shit battery life is indefensible.

    • Rob says :

      Amen Mark – I just upgraded from a 4 and the battery life on this 5 is way worse than the 4. Even turned off and sitting on a nightstand for the evening it’s burning juice. And I have turned off notifications and done all the battery saving things your supposed to do – it just sucks.

  4. jG says :

    This phone does suck. Another big problem is that my iphone 5 constantly drops my wifi, it’s super annoying.

  5. Nick says :

    Laughing at you all with my Galaxy s4 XD

  6. El-Los Baphomet says :

    I ordered an iPhone when they were first introduced. I must say the glitches bugs problems whatever are still the same. Jobs did a good job making a closed platform but what the f*#%?! What a slow piece of shat. Shat shat shat. Android is also stupid as shat but shat at least the shat worked. But still smartphones are retarded as shat and make everyone stupid as shat. The shat I learned as a younger person is the shat people learn as adults now. Education shouldn’t be geared around gear, stuff, or technology. Everyone is stupid as shat because of dumbphones.

  7. Katie Aurora says :

    I dont even have that iShit xD and I already hate its guts >->

  8. Bob says :

    You ungrateful little brat!!!

  9. Marie says :

    Yes it really suck! I need my phone right now but I can’t use it!! Fuck apple for making my life miserable because i cannot afford another phone at this moment!!!

  10. Drake says :

    This story is especially sad given that I gave the Lumia 928 a shot recently and it blows not only the iPhone 5 but also the 5s out of the water. Two friends just traded theirs in for a 928 and 1020 respectively.

    Hope you got your upgrade eventually.

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